Transience

On my way to work I often cross paths with an old beggar...he has a fixed signal where he can be found knocking the windows of various kinds of cars...my old lady (!) too has had that privilege a few times...there is nothing new about such a scenario except that this man is a bit unusual...

The first time I noticed him was when I stopped at the signal a few months back and was rather surprised to see a bearded, frail old man sitting on the footpath reading "The Asian Age"...a few days later it was another English daily...and since then it has come to be quite the norm...

Then one day he came and knocked my window...as is our conditioning and the ideals that we have come to nurture with regards to the "business" of begging, I ignored him and asked him to move on...but I saw him looking at a sticker on my windshield...and he asked me "kya aap is club ki member hain?"...now its no ordinary club (if I take my dad's word for it!) and the fact that he knew about it and then went on to advice me on its sports facilities was really awkward...he said he was "poor people" and needed some money for his breakfast...I sheepishly took out some coins and gave it to him...and unlike most such occasions when we feel good about doing such deeds, this time I was really uneasy...

I don't know what his story is...or what he feels in his situation...he is clearly educated and still behaves with an air that reflects a prosperous past...and he is clearly alone...did he lose his entire family in some tragic accident? Did his children abandon him in his old age? Did he ever make an investment which went horribly wrong? Maybe I should stop some day and ask him...or maybe I shouldn't...

Guess it's just one of those things that remind you how transient everything really is...

Choice

I came across this piece of land
in a lonesome windy town,
In the vast wilderness of this world
somehow this feels like mine...
I could own this lost kingdom
and nurture it with my soul,
but I don't want anyone to find me
in this hollowed ruined town...
I ask you, my giver, can I mark a place
but really not leave a sign?

We flew like birds
from one crazy place to another,
You found me in this quest
only I lost my way in the middle...
If hello had been so tough
adieu was never going to be a breeze,
But I escaped and you conquered,
letting the moments of joy to freeze..
tell me, my lover, if you were given a choice
whom would you choose to find?

There used to be a life I led
I had a name,a number and sense of time,
It never occurred to me to step outside
this carefully preserved bubble of mine...
but I knew I was trapped
the day I cried foul in a game of one,
Call it sense or madness or even a crime,
but I'd packed by then to search for a town..
Tell me, my soul,if you could choose again
would you lead me to the same fate?

A Life Quite Ordinary!

If we were to go strictly by volume - most of our life seems so inconsequential...just imagine the amount of time we spend in commuting from home to office, waiting for your turn in innumerable queues, paying bills, buying utility items, being confused about which option to choose, fantasizing about unattainable crushes, waiting for a friend in Barista, switching from one inane channel to the next on TV, holding grudges...or to put it in a filmy style - yeh roz marra ki aam zindagi!

What distinguishes an extraordinary life from an ordinary one? Is that strictly a function of the amount of money you have, the number of places you have seen or the variety of 'experiences' you have had? Or is it something more? Is an extraordinary life a cause of brilliance or a consequence of it?

I suppose, I can safely presume that we are all aspirational...Maslow's hierarchy, howsoever trite, is pretty much symbolic of what we are...but one thought that never leaves me is that no matter how many achievements we have, can we escape time gone awry? How many times have you felt like making everything pause for a while, rearrange things and then start afresh? Like a childhood game that's become too chaotic...but things are rushing past so fast that forget rearranging, one doesn't even get a chance to let it all sink in!

In this mad rush how are we supposed to make more and more moments count? Of course, common sense (or maybe conditioning!) tells me that to a large extent the significance of our existence is determined by our attitude...or is it?Are people who are supposedly gutsy and have trodden the path less travelled, necessarily happy? Are people who have achieved their dreams happy? Or are eternal chasers, like me, happy?

Are you happy?

Finally!

It finally rained in Delhi today and boy, it poured!! It resulted in instant upliftment of my mood (predictably), which in turn resulted in me making this (quite unpredictably)!!

Chase

Remember me?

Don't deny it...you know I lurk somewhere under the layers of your consciousness...like a sleeping tiger...in that grey area between known and unknown...between love and hate...give me a look sometime, feel my presence...they say that against fear, acknowledgement is half the battle won...running away is a reaction and not an answer...and really, where will you go? I'll always follow because I know that you'll always have something which is not worth losing...

Don't you know?