Balance

Is there anything in life which is, you know, just right?! I mean, I know we have moments like that but are there sustained periods of time which can be called just right!? Look at my life...my work life to be precise...barely two months ago, my workload was such that I could take 3 breaks in a day (each about 30 mins minimum) - excluding breakfast, lunch and snacks...surf the net for about 6 hrs a day...talk on the phone for another 30 mins...do misc activities (like going to the loo, chit chatting with people sitting around, walking up and down the stairs etc etc) - another 30 mins...an hour chasing my boss and then finally not meeting him and yeah, with whatever time is left in my daily 8-9 hour schedule - maybe do some work...

And now...I come to office...settle down for an hour (you know, a cup of coffee, checking mails, surfing friends' blogs, writing something on my own sometimes, etc etc)...and then I come out of my trance at 5 in the evening, realizing that I need another cup of coffee...and there are still 3 more hours of work to do! Its just a roller coaster ride from one person to the other, from one floor to the other, writing mails, making calls...oh, you know, the painful grind...! I mean, yeah maybe its better than the previous scenario but its still not...yeah, just right...!

I am just having such a tough time getting used to the accountability and the sheer pressure of getting a work completed...I am slowly becoming a link in the chain and becoming part of an environment which I abhor with all my heart...if there is one thing that I would want to retain for the rest of my corporate career (howsoever short that may be!), it would be the ability to remain an outsider...someone part of the system and yet insulated from the slime of this world...I know its a tough one to achieve and everyone I interact with gives me that 'yeah, we have been there' & 'wait for sometime...you'll also change' kind of bullshit talk...and the scary part is not that they say that...the scary thought is that what if they are proved right...!

Ok...I know...that was slight digression from what I started with...happens to me sometimes! Anyways...coming back to my main point - things not being just right...and the fact that its true for everything in life...isn't it? You either have too much love or too less...indecent amount of money but no time...loads of friends and no soul mate...too many thoughts but no feelings...that eternal balance escapes us...again...