Dreams, Coffee & Money

Middle of the night and it's getting so hard to breathe
You can't sleep, can't think, can't hardly dream
Do you fear what the world wants you to be?
Open your eyes and just see what the world is
Open your mind and you're free

Miscellaneous, random thoughts that cross my bored mind when there is no work to do...

Finally, winters are here...my hands are cold, its really foggy outside, its a two sweater day, a ray of sunshine seems like elixir...all winter clothes are packed…so, I am basically wearing the same stuff to office everyday…

Everyone's writing a blog these days...some are good, some not so much...wanted to start one of my own for the last 6-7 years...never had enough motivation or will to carry it forward...all my thoughts went into back pages of notebooks, paper napkins in coffee shops, ugly diaries from dad's office...but most evaporated in this mystery called time...the confinement of office and my near total disillusionment with work finally pushed me to start this blog...not so much to write in virtual space and share my thoughts...but more because I have too much time and I can pretend to be doing something which looks like work!

I spent a lifetime hoping it would come to me
Getting lost in the lies I believed
We're covered by a mask that we think is our sin
But never realize that the truth is within
Open your eyes and just see what the world is
Open your mind and you're free

I am not broadening my horizons...past 2 years were good…there were things to learn and unlearn…there were new people…there were interesting people…there were options…life’s a rut right now…each day of the week is the same as the previous one…A asked me the other day whether I am happy…I said no, because I am lonely…and I didn’t mean it in just the romantic relationshipy kind of a way (that’s anyways a personal choice)…lonely because I am so far away from my dreams…this is what happens to the quintessential dreamers like me…we love chasing…its chasing that gives a kick, not the realization of a dream…5 years back this is where I wanted to be…and I am there now, but dreams have moved forward…

Coffee tastes good, as always…its one constant in my life…and something my feelings are constant for too…exam pressure, scrabble in barista, mundane numerous hours, the first date, awkward silences, winter afternoons, arguments at Nescafe, exploration…its always been there…always…

And what are you hiding from?
Is it safe there inside your walls?
'Cause your chance is bound to come
If you're strong enough to live at all
We'll find what we need in our lives

Surrounded by the smell of numbers and targets and aggression and arrogance…gets to me every few days…especially because I am sitting next to this incorrigible showy buffoon….

Why does everything boil down to the hard practicality of money? Need a car, want to travel more, new clothes, gifts for parasitical relatives, books, bills and more bills…there is so much to do, and not enough…never enough money…always a trade off…seriously, money, it’s a crime…

There's more in this world than we see
Just leave these illusions behind and run with me
if all of the things that you thought you would be
Pass you by
We'll find what we need in our lives
We'll find what we need in our lives